I find myself in a very strange position these days. You see, I spent a large part of the last decade getting rather specialized (and expensive) degrees. I now have a Bachelor’s degree in computer science and a Master’s degree in the complicated field of bioinformatics. Following my graduation I got a job with a big player in the pharmaceutical/bioinformatics business and thought I had it made.
Little did I know.
I worked hard. I was the new guy, and I was nervous pretty much all the time.
“Am I good enough?” I’d think. “Am I as smart as everyone else?” I had constant worries that my contribution paled in comparison to everyone else’s. But then again, doesn’t everyone feel this way at one time or another? Aren’t we all afraid of failure?
As it turned out in my case, it didn’t matter. A few months after I started work, they laid off 50 people, but not me. I wondered why. Maybe I was doing something right. A week later, 25 more people were let go. I was one of them.
I live in a small country, and there are no other companies in my chosen field. Luckily, I got hired to work as a programmer for a fun little software company a little later. Fast forward two years and through some strange twist of fate I am now in the marketing department, part of a two-man team that does all the marketing for a pretty big player in the online flight-search market.
And here is my conundrum. As it turns out, I am actually good at this. And it’s fun. Does that mean I am now a marketer, and that all of my work in school was for nothing? In this new place I am no longer afraid of failing, since I have little to compare to, everything being new. If I make it here, this will be how I define myself from now on, won’t it?
I have now become afraid that I might succeed.
Submitted by Johann Thorsson
Great submission, Johann! I think it’s great that you enjoy your work and that you are good at it. It’s so very important to enjoy what you do.
The question as to whether or not your new line of work will be how you define yourself from now on has forced me to put my thinking cap on. I’ve already asked myself a few times since receiving your submission how I define myself. I might have to come back and comment to this portion for you more later on. I think we all define ourselves in different ways and that so many parts of our lives come together to define who we are.
I do not think that all of your work in school was for nothing at all because it made you who you are today and that is something to celebrate!
Thank you so very much for taking the time to submit something to http://www.aplaceforthoughts.com. I’m glad to have your story become part of this site!
I really liked this post, I identify with your fears so much! If you are enjoying it and you are good at it, success is yours! Best of luck my friend, you rock!
By the way, you always have such great great contributors. I have loved every one!
Thank you, Lori!
Johann, you are so blessed to love what you do – whether it’s in the field you studied in or otherwise. 😉 Here’s what I say, your studies/degrees and previous job experience in your original field have made you who you are today. Without that experience, you wouldn’t be you. Without those degrees, you might not have gotten hired to that first company. Without being laid off, you might never have come to find the second job in Marketing. A job you love, are good at and truly enjoy. I say God knew what he was doing when he took you on this journey. Now, it’s just a matter of trusting him as you continue it. 😉
Thanks for the post.
Laura
Thanks for the comments, and for reading. I suppose I should just count myself lucky, as Laura Maly says.
Great submission! I thought I was going to be a poetry teacher. Instead I became a journalist. Now I work in IT.
I don’t use my knowledge of the classics much in my line of work, but I do enjoy what I do. Thing is, college doesn’t just teach you a skill, it teaches you how to think. If you’ve got that down, well, just do what you love.
No matter what your plan, always stay open to the possibilities.
I don’t know many people who “use their degrees” (my husband included), but what they’ve gained from them and along the way has added so much to who they are. 🙂
It sounds like you are right where you need to be and might not have gotten there without your degree and past job/layoff. Hope you continue to do well at what you do! 🙂
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved. Success is the lurking-place of failure; but who can tell when the turning-point will come?” – Lao Tzu
All education is good, even if you’re not using it now. Don’t be afraid of success! Enjoy it!