I am scared.
I am scared of mediocrity, of anonymity. I don’t want to be famous. But I want to be remembered. I want to have an impact on humanity, so that in one thousand years time people will whisper my name in reverence.
There are seven billion people in this world. I am smarter, faster and stronger than most of them. But there are always those who are better. And if there are those who are better than what is the point? If I am not the best, than who am I? I am nothing. I am alone.
If I could find that person, that person that is for me I think I would feel complete. I know they are out there and I am terrified I will never find them.
I am tired, tired of the same old tired world. I would never end it. I am not that stupid. But I want to go. My world is cold and empty and I want better. I want to write and feel alive. But everywhere is the world in which I must live.
I feel dumber every day. Everywhere I look I see people taller, smarter, faster, stronger. I repeat the same thoughts, I know, and this disgusts me. My own human stupidity. Every day I make mistakes. Small mistakes. I want to fight too. But I am too tired. ‘’The solving emptiness that lies under all we are…’’
Submitted by SM