Submission #14: Nighttime Prayers

In earlier years, sleep rated pretty high on my list of things I valued. Either hormones or a houseful of children trained me to be a light sleeper. That waking up at 3 a.m. and not returning to sleep until about 35 minutes before the alarm goes off was one of life’s tragedies for me.

It wasn’t until in my early 40’s that I understood the gift of time that was given to me. These quiet hours of stillness gave me the opportunity to pray for so many of my burdens, my loved ones, and friends. Eventually, I learned to appreciate this time. Then I spent a few years sleeping soundly and deeply. Not waking up at all. I actually had to make time out in my day for prayer. I think that may have been harder. I missed that quiet, uninterrupted time with the Lord, but I wasn’t about to set my alarm to change my restful nights.

Lately, I have been waking up again. Early hours. Long, quiet hours. I don’t get out of bed. I don’t grab my iPhone. No night lights and books. I just lay there and tell God all about what is going on with me. I am no longer resistant to this time and I must admit I wonder when I lay down at night if I am going to be awakened. And I don’t dread it.

Lack of sleep doesn’t affect my day nearly as much as lack of prayer.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself unable to go back to sleep? Next time you find yourself awakened, pray. See if pouring your heart out to God isn’t the best use of this extra time God so graciously blesses us with.

Submitted by Shannon Coe from Arranged By God

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June 17, 2001

June 17, 2001 was a Sunday. It was also Father’s Day. A couple of weeks ago I thought about writing about this particular Father’s Day and then I looked at the calendar and realized that Father’s Day fell on the same date this year! It felt almost coincidental.

I’ve always tried to find special gifts or reminders to give to my Dad on his birthday, Christmas and Father’s Day. Sometimes I go overboard but I only have a few occasions every year that I can really buy for him – so why not? Sometimes the perfect gift comes to mind quickly. Other times I look around a few times before finding the perfect gift. As the special day approaches I find myself getting more anxious when I haven’t come up with something. In the end, I usually do okay.

But Father’s Day 2001 was a memorable one. Not because of something I gave him but because of something he gave me.

That year both of my grandfathers were still alive so it was a busy day. I went to church in the morning, visited both of my grandfathers, and spent as much time with my Dad as possible. Watched him open gifts and had dinner; the typical Father’s Day get together. As I said goodbye to my father and started towards my car he handed me an envelope. I remember asking him what it was and he just said that it was for me and wished me a Happy Father’s Day.

Driving home that night seemed to take longer than it normally did just because I had something I wanted to open. I remember pulling into my driveway and opening the envelope before I even went into my house. Inside was a letter and a CD. I won’t go into all the details of the letter but it started like this:

Dear ____,

Today is Father’s Day. I wanted to make this one especially special by giving you a gift. You’re probably wondering why I would do such a thing. There are more than a few reasons. But firstly, it is because I could never have been a father without you. You are responsible for some of the greatest moments of joy that I shall ever experience in this lifetime… (This might be the first moment that I started to choke up reading his letter. Scratch that. I choked up when I realized I had a letter so that must have been the line that triggered the first tear!)

It went on from there but I will probably continue to keep the rest of the letter between my Dad and I.

Towards the end of his letter he reminds me to keep God in my life and that… when all else seems to fail, He will always be there. A reminder I really need from time to time.

Anyway, I guess I just want to send out a thank you to my Dad.

Because Dad, it’s you that didn’t let me quit.

You prompted me to learn a new skill.

You brought me energy that I could not have survived without.

You held my hand and sat awake all night during my hospital stay.

You pushed me to stand and push forward.

Tonight I thought I’d share a quote that seems perfect for today:

100 years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much I had in my bank account, nor what my clothes looked like but the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child. ~Forest E. Witcraft

Right now seems like the perfect time to grab a cup of tea, read this letter once more and then tuck it away for safekeeping once again.

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Signing Off

The other day I was dusting my little ones bedroom. On top of his dresser sits a large personalized piggy bank. When he was baptized I invited those in attendance to sign it for him. My first child had one and I thought it would be nice for the second one to have one as well.

While I was dusting, I took the time to look over a few of the inscriptions, and one jumped out at me. It read as follows:

God Bless you,____, You bring so much joy and happiness to my life. Love, ____

Sweet sentiment, isn’t it?

But, guess what?

This relative hasn’t even asked me how this little one is in over a year, how my other child is, or how I am.

She is very busy. Life is hectic. Running here and there. Hardly has time to fit everything into her day. She doesn’t seem to have time to communicate or acknowledge anyone anymore.

I can’t think of a birthday or Christmas that I’ve missed in her child’s life. Not one. I’ve yet to miss her birthday. You wouldn’t believe the number of calls or texts I’ve sent in support of job interviews, checking to see how doctor appointments went, or just to see how they were doing. I’m not saying that I’ve done these things because I expect them in return. I’ve done them because I care. What I am saying is that it is sad how some can so easily disregard those that they claim are important to them.

It is amazing that one who supposedly brings so much joy and happiness to another can be easily forgotten and dismissed. It takes two minutes to pick up the phone or a quick moment to send a happy birthday text. Quite difficult to do when you can’t fit anything else into your day though, right?

But wait…

That’s right.

Facebook.

Two hours or more each night.

She has time for that.

Something to think about, isn’t it?

I think it’s great that you can receive 51 happy birthday comments on Facebook because of all the friends you’ve reconnected with or made online. On Twitter you can receive 18 good luck tweets fairly quickly before heading out the door to an interview because you have 500+ followers and you sent out one tweet.

But turn off your computer for a minute.

Forget about Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest and your other social media sites.

Pretend it’s your birthday.

Your phone rings. Who is it?

It rings again. Who is it now?

Who are the people that are truly a part of your life? Those that truly care about you?

Are you neglecting them?

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Submission #9: Christmas Came Early

As many of you know we have had a tough few weeks. Seraphina is still only tolerating half strength feed, she has lost a considerable amount of weight. We went up to Sheffield again and have had to start another medicine called azathioprine which is an immunosuppressant as well as pushing the steroids up to maximum again as she doesn’t tolerate them being lowered.
We saw the ophthalmologist this week who again confirmed that she has a cortical visual impairment (although not too bad) and then we saw our local consultant who looked at a lump I had been a little concerned about in her tummy and confirmed it was an incisional hernia (her bowel has herniated through a past operation incision) so this means another op for my girl to fix it.
Then we had to go to the hospital twice with temperatures so that they could check her blood cell count due to being imunosupressed so they could see if she was able to fight off the infection and have medicine accordingly.
Life seems to be a game of ”hospital hokey cokey” at the moment and the other children are also feeling the strain, particularly the eldest three. Their schools have been good reducing the amount of homework they have to complete and we have spoken to them all and prayed together but it is hard when they ask you why God hasn’t healed Seraphina completely yet.

I have no answers for that… my faith is still strong, but my longing to see my girl healed is too.

Yesterday was one of “those” days. I was looking at the photos and pictures we had taken only a few days ago…Seraphinas 5th Birthday. How my heart ached to see her eat some cake, open her own presents, blow out her own birthday candles…speak and run around like any other 5-year-old girl. She had spent the morning crying with tummy ache, hadn’t been well enough for physio for months and was having more spasms.

I cried out to God …WHY?? Have you forgotten her??? PLEASE show me you still care…that you remember my little girls name!!!

I immediately felt bad about my outburst even though I knew that God didn’t mind.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. Isa 55:8 came to mind and I left it there and carried on with the rest of the day. David had one of his rare working from home days and we had an appointment in the afternoon.

Then, a couple of hours later….with Gods help my little girl gave us the BEST Christmas present we could ask for!

I grabbed my camera phone straight away and tried to capture some of it on film before she got too tired…she had already walked the length of the living room from the hallway and I just got the tail end of her walking here…Im sure you get the idea! Watch out Christmas tree this year!!!

I know many of you won’t agree with this but this is what I believe…

God hasn’t forgotten her…things may not be panning out the way I thought they would, or hoped they would but he DEFINITELY hasn’t forgotten her and I believe this is what he was trying to tell me.

HIS ways not mine….always.

Submitted by Caroline from Seraphina’s World

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Submission #8: A Book Worth Reading

I had drafted out a few blog posts…but this morning I knew I needed to write about something else today.
I read a book yesterday…well in truth I started it yesterday afternoon and then awoke at 4am and carried on reading. I have almost finished but it has touched me SO much I had to share it.

The book is called “Heaven is for Real” by Todd Burpo.
I’ve read a few books on Heaven, something which interests me not just because of my Christian faith but because of my own personal experience. I know I am taking a risk typing this up, it is something I have only ever shared in part with a couple of people before…but you know, I have said I will always speak the truth in my blog…from the heart.

I was born into a non-Christian family, I’m sure my parents believed in God but it wasn’t something that was spoken about. I had an older sister named Catherine. She had long dark hair and huge soulful eyes and was as fragile as a little bird. She couldn’t run, she couldn’t play ball.

Why? Because she had a very serious heart condition.

It hadn’t really been seen before and to be honest it was a wonder she had survived so long. But she needed a big surgery which would take place when she was 6 (I was 4 at the time). The surgery was to take place at a hospital which had a well renowned surgeon working there at the time..the hospital was called Harefield.
I remember vividly the night before Catherine was to leave for the hospital. I can still see her eyes earnestly looking into mine as she told me as a little 4-year-old that she was going away. She said that she wouldn’t be coming back and told me to look after Mummy and Daddy for her.

She knew she was going to die.

But she also told me where she was going… “I’m going to be with Jesus” she told me ‘”but I will see you again in a little while.” Then she laughed and stuffed her foot in my face saying “smell my stinky feet” and the serious part of the conversation was over.

When she didn’t come back I felt desolate. The operation had been successful but it was too much for her little body to stand and so she never regained consciousness.
I remember it was the summer of 1976. We both had pushchairs and I placed them side by side in the long stretch of scorched lawn and pushed mine forward first a little and then my sisters a little trying to somehow will her back by my side. I remember the aching, the confusion, the loneliness.

And then something happened…

A bright light. I looked up and immediately fell on my knees as the sky seemed to open, and for a few moments, I saw a glimpse what I knew even as an “un-churched 4-year-old” to be Heaven.

I believe God reached out to me in my sorrow and showed me it “was ok” and that Catherine was safe and happy and in the most beautiful place I could ever imagine.
In dark moments after then I would wish with all my heart I could die too, to be with her, but somehow I got through these times (I believe God held my hand through them) and that vision was something that I held onto as I was growing up until finally at University I gave my life to the Lord.

And now I find myself to some extent in my Mother’s shoes…with a seriously ill child who is “life limited.” In this journey with her and my faith which after a bit of a blip is now stronger than ever. When my little girl leaves this place I don’t just believe…I KNOW where she will be going, I know she will be safe and loved and will wait for me. I know her brother is already there waiting to meet her.

I walked into the Christian bookshop looking for a completely different book and suddenly this particular one seemed to jump off the shelf at me. I bought it actually thinking of a dear friend who had lost a daughter, knowing in my heart that God wanted her to read it and that it would offer some comfort. When I began reading it I just couldn’t put it down. Some of the things this little nearly 4-year-old talks about are EXACTLY the same as what I saw in my vision. He doesn’t mention specifically the beautiful rolling fields, the trees but he mentions the colours, the vibrancy and the rainbow coloured horse.

I realize that it’s a Christian book but even if you don’t believe…give it a try. Read it with the simple innocence of a child and guarantee you will be touched by it too.

Submitted by Caroline from Seraphina’s World

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Submission #7: Loving and Letting Go

This post is very personal to me, but I wanted to share this part of the journey to hold myself accountable and so that, if anyone else out there goes through the same thing either now or in the future, that something of what I say may help.
My Children are my world, I love them utterly, completely and nothing they could ever do or say will change that. I love them so much that the thought of one day losing one of them has been more recently more than I could bear. It’s not yet a year since Seraph had her formal diagnosis of Rett syndrome and in that year I don’t feel that as a family we have had time to draw breath before the next hospital visit or the next piece of bad news or crisis.
It has taken its toll on all of us.

For me it has thrown me more recently into a state of exhaustion and..yes I will admit it depression. I am admitting this because I am through with being not completely honest. Purely because of distance it has meant that hospital decisions have been mine alone to make, no fault of David’s, he has had more than enough to cope with being a father to our other 5 children and hold down a full-time and very demanding job.

My faith is very important to me but even that has been tested. I have looked into putting my trust elsewhere, other means of ‘saving’ my girl out of total desperation.

Believe me when I say all other means are futile. There is no magic answer. I have been so exceedingly stupid.
Today I have learnt that the only way I can save her and myself is to let her go. Gods care is more far-reaching than mine, Gods power and love for her more powerful than mine.
The all-consuming fear every time she gets poorly and stops breathing or starts fitting is made worse only because of my lack of trust in HIM who ‘Is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine’ (Eph 3:20)
Today I have asked for forgiveness. I’m not going to say for one instant that ‘yay, everything is going to be hunky dory now’.But what I am going to say is that I have made a decision…to Trust God with Seraphina and to Let Go. Something I haven’t ever before been able to do.

I don’t know what the future holds…but I know who holds it. I believe God knew I would come to this point…because He had already provided someone else apart from Him who understood my fears and who I have spoken to today. They know who they are and I thank God for them.
After I prayed initally…a piece of paper fell out of my Bible. I can’t even remember copying it..but I felt it falling out at this moment quite apt.
I’ll share it with you. Its called ‘When all means fail’ and is by someone called David Wilkerson.

To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).

Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed.

Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening.

That is when Satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.”

Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust him anymore. It doesn’t pay!”

Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.

Part of My Baptism Verse..because God knew…

”For I believe that neither death nor life,nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus Our Lord” Romans 8:38-39

Submitted by Caroline from Seraphina’s World

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Soliciting Strength

I’ve been meaning to write and explain my hiatus but I haven’t really found the right words. Hopefully I will do that very soon.

This morning I am writing with a request. Someone entirely dear to me is in need of prayers. Strength and prayers. So, I am asking everyone that reads this post to send up an extra prayer or positive thought. Think of others in your life that you know could use some extra courage and strength. Take a moment to breathe, reflect and strengthen these people as well. Even for yourself. We all need and deserve an extra lift, right? I know that I sure do.

Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~Victor Hugo

I’m going to keep this prayer simple for now. Here is hope, love, strength, and courage. You are beautiful. You are a blessing. You are not alone. 

I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Theresa

God is with you. Do you see that one set of footprints? He is carrying you. Today and always.

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Submission #6: Transformed Perspectives

God is always speaking to us.  I remember one morning a few years ago, as I was writing at my desk, my daughter Skyler brought me a 3-D picture to see if I could find the image.  I held it close to my nose and let my eyes relax.  As I slowly pulled it away, the image became clear.  In relaxing, even allowing my focus to blur for a time, my perspective was transformed.  Once my focus shifted, the new picture was easy to spot.  Instead of seeing the mish-mosh of seemingly random patterns, I could clearly see the crisp outline of a horse emerge from the page. 

What a great object lesson God had given me that day!  When we relax and allow Him to refocus the eyes of our heart, a new image clearly emerges.  Things may be confusing at first—blurry—but soon the events and circumstances of our life don’t seem so random, and instead of asking why, we are left asking how.  Instead of crying out to God for answers, we cry out to God for wisdom and direction. 

Proverbs 3:5,6 ~ Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Submitted by Jenni from  PowerLaunch

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