Posted in Submitted thoughts/stories, tagged disappointment, dream, faith, hope, inspiration, life, persistance, prayer, success on May 15, 2013|
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I grow old. And tired. Things change, this is certain. But I’d always hoped
they’d change because of me, not in spite of me. I look at where I was, where I
am, and where I hoped I’d be and realize that none of them are anything what I’d
dreamed. Maybe this is for the best. Perhaps disappointment is the best
inspiration. But right now it feels crushing. Waves of regret are all I can
feel. Regret and disappointment, not only in me but in others. The people I was
surrounded by, they were supposed to be more than this. They were supposed to
make me compete. Instead they stand idle with me.
Certainly my station in life cannot be blamed on them. As much as I would not consider my success theirs either. And maybe this is the problem. And maybe this is the beauty of it. And maybe I see more than there is. Perhaps I think too much,
dream too often, and act to little. I don’t know, and may never know. I read
once somewhere that the greatest torture a man can endure is at the end of his
life seeing who he is standing next to everything he could have been had he made
all the right choices. Right now nothing could seem more true. I can feel that I
was meant to be more than I am, I can see that I am not fulfilling my potential.
What I cannot understand is how I’ve strayed so far. Everything seemed so
I speak in ifs and maybes, uncertainty plagues this very ejaculation. As if to emphasize my point I say maybe this is the meaning of life. To never know, to always question, to perpetually seek and wonder. But I doubt it. I don’t think greatness comes to those who question everything but to those who answer it. And I suppose I haven’t come to my answer. But if I had things would be much less… enjoyable. For now I will bow my head, say my prayers, and carry on hoping for change brought by my hands, not to them. Until then I will persist. I must persist.
Submitted by David
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Posted in Submitted thoughts/stories, tagged blessing, children, God, life, pray, quiet hours, religion, sleep, spirituality, time on August 8, 2012|
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In earlier years, sleep rated pretty high on my list of things I valued. Either hormones or a houseful of children trained me to be a light sleeper. That waking up at 3 a.m. and not returning to sleep until about 35 minutes before the alarm goes off was one of life’s tragedies for me.
It wasn’t until in my early 40’s that I understood the gift of time that was given to me. These quiet hours of stillness gave me the opportunity to pray for so many of my burdens, my loved ones, and friends. Eventually, I learned to appreciate this time. Then I spent a few years sleeping soundly and deeply. Not waking up at all. I actually had to make time out in my day for prayer. I think that may have been harder. I missed that quiet, uninterrupted time with the Lord, but I wasn’t about to set my alarm to change my restful nights.
Lately, I have been waking up again. Early hours. Long, quiet hours. I don’t get out of bed. I don’t grab my iPhone. No night lights and books. I just lay there and tell God all about what is going on with me. I am no longer resistant to this time and I must admit I wonder when I lay down at night if I am going to be awakened. And I don’t dread it.
Lack of sleep doesn’t affect my day nearly as much as lack of prayer.
Do you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself unable to go back to sleep? Next time you find yourself awakened, pray. See if pouring your heart out to God isn’t the best use of this extra time God so graciously blesses us with.
Submitted by Shannon Coe from Arranged By God
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Posted in Submitted thoughts/stories, tagged anger, change, frustration, health, illness, layoff, life, loss, mental-health, new post, pray, relationships, sadness on June 15, 2012|
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I realized something about myself yesterday that I didn’t like. Sometimes, we’ve convinced ourselves that we’ve gotten over something bad. It could be a relationship gone sour, something that happened at work, an illness, a layoff, or the loss of someone you love. At the time it happens, the pain is so sharp that you wonder if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep at night again. But time passes, the pain dulls, sleep grudgingly returns, and you convince yourself that you’ve moved on. And that might not be true.
I have a chapter in my life that I desperately want to close. It’s been the source of a lot of unhappiness over the last several years. On top of that, I received a tremendous gift earlier this year in the form of someone new and special in my life. I still can’t believe my good fortune that this has happened to me. However, my inability to close the book on the sad chapter is a wall that keeps a deeper relationship just out of reach. Climbing over that wall is incredibly hard for me.
How does this make me feel? Sad. Frustrated. Angry with myself because my own weaknesses are coming between someone who makes me happy and me. I think these are all appropriate responses, but if I dwell on them too long, I won’t make the progress I need to make. I can curse myself, curse fate, and throw my hands up in despair. Or I can do some serious self-inspection, show a little courage, face my problems and do something about them. I pray that I will have the wisdom and fortitude to take that second approach.
I don’t think it’s ever too late for us to change ourselves. The day we stop trying is the day we start wasting our space on earth. I know where the warts are when I look in the mirror, and I know what I have to change. I just need to do the heavy lifting. And I think all of us are like that. We all have something that needs changing today. None of us knows how long we will be here, how many days we’ll have to enjoy the good things in our lives, and to remove those roadblocks that keep us from doing that. If it needs to be done, what better day to do that than today?
If you’re facing problems like these, think about what you can do today to start solving them. And if you’re so inclined, please pray for me and everyone else who needs to do this important work in their lives.
Submitted by Anonymous
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We have so many changes in our lives some are so major we are changed forever. In this change some of what was before hangs on no matter how much we try to not allow it to cross into now. When we really allow it in and allow the full experience of that song, that memory, that pure thought from a time never to reclaim we allow it to fully touch us again.
What it is that we tried so hard to block is a simple smile from a spark of life in our memory that was all the beauty and grace of true and innocent emotion that was so gently powerful the very first time we felt it. By some simple childhood type of magic it remains and the reason we may have blocked it was because we thought it may bring pain. Once allowed it brings nothing but a smile and relieves that spark from all pain and its magic is now magic again.
Mine was a song from long ago that brought a flood of memories and I blocked it from pang of tenderness it touched. Thank you, James Taylor, for I need to shower the people I love with love. The spark of smile is still there. I just needed to get past that twinge.
Submitted by TinManTwoFeathers
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Posted in Submitted thoughts/stories, tagged children, death, emotions, family, fighting a losing battle, grandchildren, heal, health, hope, joy, Kurt Vonnegut, Lcpl. James Kimple, life, loss, new post, trauma on May 9, 2012|
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How long does it take a person to heal? Well it depends on healing from what. Physical injury? Scrape? Broken bone? There is a physiological process that happens with cell regeneration, nature of the injury, cleanliness of the wound and other things. But this can be roughly determined. I don’t have an answer – your physician or specialist would be better equipped to do that. But there is a generally defined timeline.
But what if it’s an emotional trauma? Say, the loss of a loved one, as family member? In which case I am looking for answers to that very question and all I have found is “it depends.” As much as I’d really like to have a timeline of when the hurting stops I don’t think there really is one. It differs from day-to-day and sometimes hour to hour.
As you may well know, we are approaching four years since we’ve lost our son, Lcpl. James Kimple. And while the hurt has eased some, it is still there. Yes, I still will tear up talking about him. Hell, I’m having a hard time not crying as I type this in a hospital cafeteria (I am fighting a losing battle here). However my wonderful bride usually has a bit of an easier time talking about James lately. So if you see us together and ask us about James, usually she will answer. I don’t know why that is. It just is. “So it goes” as Kurt Vonnegut would say. This is not to tell you to not ask me about James. I do want to talk about him – this forum is certainly an example of that – just if you ask me in person you might need to give me a few moments.
At three years you’d think it’d be easier for me to talk or just think about James. I certainly would have thought as much. So at what point will it be less difficult? Hard to say. I am sure there will be a day when it gets easier. Maybe by talking about him more I can “work through it.” Maybe the idea of “working through it” is a bunch of crap. All I can say is that I believe it’s different for different people. Different facets of this process will be harder or easier depending on the makeup and thought processes of a person.
What I do know is that I have a fantastic bride and two wonderful sons to help. I have a good family that helps however they can. There are three awesome grandchildren that carry on James’ DNA. And I do have some pretty cool friends. Whether I am talking to them about James or something totally different I think it all helps.
But a definite end? In a strange way I hope it never ends. I feel that the sadness I feel is in direct relation to the amount of joy he brought to my life. I would never trade that for anything.
Submitted by J.D. Kimple from Riding with my Son
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Posted in Quotes, tagged Alexandre Dumas Pere, Corazon Aquino, faith, hope, Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy, life, new post, patience, Rainer Maria Rilke, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Saint Augusting, wisdom on September 21, 2011|
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We’ve all run out of patience, haven’t we? I know that I have. Plenty of times. The other day I was almost on a frantic search for some. So I sat down to breathe for a minute and decided to look up quotes on patience to help me reflect. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you…
Patience is the companion of wisdom. ~Saint Augustine
Patience and fortitude conquer all things. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
All human wisdom is summed up in two words – wait and hope. ~Alexandre Dumas Pere
Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. Live the questions. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope. ~Corazon Aquino
I love how a quick five minute break can fill your heart and soul with the strength and hope you need to stand up. Take a minute or two for you today.
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