Submission #13: Removing Roadblocks

I realized something about myself yesterday that I didn’t like. Sometimes, we’ve convinced ourselves that we’ve gotten over something bad. It could be a relationship gone sour, something that happened at work, an illness, a layoff, or the loss of someone you love. At the time it happens, the pain is so sharp that you wonder if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep at night again. But time passes, the pain dulls, sleep grudgingly returns, and you convince yourself that you’ve moved on. And that might not be true.

I have a chapter in my life that I desperately want to close. It’s been the source of a lot of unhappiness over the last several years. On top of that, I received a tremendous gift earlier this year in the form of someone new and special in my life. I still can’t believe my good fortune that this has happened to me. However, my inability to close the book on the sad chapter is a wall that keeps a deeper relationship just out of reach. Climbing over that wall is incredibly hard for me.

How does this make me feel? Sad. Frustrated. Angry with myself because my own weaknesses are coming between someone who makes me happy and me. I think these are all appropriate responses, but if I dwell on them too long, I won’t make the progress I need to make. I can curse myself, curse fate, and throw my hands up in despair. Or I can do some serious self-inspection, show a little courage, face my problems and do something about them. I pray that I will have the wisdom and fortitude to take that second approach.

I don’t think it’s ever too late for us to change ourselves. The day we stop trying is the day we start wasting our space on earth. I know where the warts are when I look in the mirror, and I know what I have to change. I just need to do the heavy lifting. And I think all of us are like that. We all have something that needs changing today. None of us knows how long we will be here, how many days we’ll have to enjoy the good things in our lives, and to remove those roadblocks that keep us from doing that. If it needs to be done, what better day to do that than today?

If you’re facing problems like these, think about what you can do today to start solving them. And if you’re so inclined, please pray for me and everyone else who needs to do this important work in their lives.

Submitted by Anonymous

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Submission #11: How long does it take to heal?

How long does it take a person to heal? Well it depends on healing from what. Physical injury? Scrape? Broken bone? There is a physiological process that happens with cell regeneration, nature of the injury, cleanliness of the wound and other things. But this can be roughly determined. I don’t have an answer – your physician or specialist would be better equipped to do that. But there is a generally defined timeline.

But what if it’s an emotional trauma? Say, the loss of a loved one, as family member? In which case I am looking for answers to that very question and all I have found is “it depends.” As much as I’d really like to have a timeline of when the hurting stops I don’t think there really is one. It differs from day-to-day and sometimes hour to hour.

As you may well know, we are approaching four years since we’ve lost our son, Lcpl. James Kimple. And while the hurt has eased some, it is still there. Yes, I still will tear up talking about him. Hell, I’m having a hard time not crying as I type this in a hospital cafeteria (I am fighting a losing battle here). However my wonderful bride usually has a bit of an easier time talking about James lately. So if you see us together and ask us about James, usually she will answer. I don’t know why that is. It just is. “So it goes” as Kurt Vonnegut would say. This is not to tell you to not ask me about James. I do want to talk about him – this forum is certainly an example of that – just if you ask me in person you might need to give me a few moments.

At three years you’d think it’d be easier for me to talk or just think about James. I certainly would have thought as much. So at what point will it be less difficult? Hard to say. I am sure there will be a day when it gets easier. Maybe by talking about him more I can “work through it.” Maybe the idea of “working through it” is a bunch of crap. All I can say is that I believe it’s different for different people. Different facets of this process will be harder or easier depending on the makeup and thought processes of a person.

What I do know is that I have a fantastic bride and two wonderful sons to help. I have a good family that helps however they can. There are three awesome grandchildren that carry on James’ DNA. And I do have some pretty cool friends. Whether I am talking to them about James or something totally different I think it all helps.

But a definite end? In a strange way I hope it never ends. I feel that the sadness I feel is in direct relation to the amount of joy he brought to my life. I would never trade that for anything.

Submitted by J.D. Kimple from Riding with my Son

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October 15th

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I know I wrote about this date earlier in the year in this post. I just wanted to take a minute to honor the little ones gone too soon and to remind all of you who have experienced a loss that you are in my thoughts.

In just a few minutes it will be 7pm and I’ll be lighting a candle in honor of all the little ones gone too soon. If you’d like to talk about your angel feel free to tell us about them in a comment or feel free to go to the submit your story page and I can share your story as a submission.

An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered as she closed the book “too beautiful for earth.” ~Author Unknown

www.october15th.com

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