My Angel’s Birthday

March 12th is a special day. It always has been – at least in my world. Today my angel celebrates a birthday. Don’t think by my wording that I think I know anything about the afterlife or angels;  I am just celebrating someone who I love. Someone who loved me and gave me my eyes, my passion, my personality, my life. Someone with strength and courage (can you send some of that down to me by the way?). I hope that my angel enjoyed her time here on this earth. I hope that she was happy in her last days. Heck, I hope she was happy most of the time.

I wonder if she knows how loved she was and still is. I wonder if she knows that I look just like her.

I wonder if she knows that a few years back someone came into my office looking for some information. She didn’t know my name yet and just kept staring at me. She finally said – “I’m so sorry. You just look like someone I went to school with. I used to sit behind her in class and play with her long brown hair – that was so long ago.” At the end of our meeting I gave her my business card and she said “is your father (enter name here)?” when I replied yes she looked stunned, I think stunned is the right word, and she said “I was talking about your mother”. What a small world. When she spoke I could feel love and kindness for my mother so I knew that they had an impact on each others lives. I later asked my grandmother about her and she said they were very close in school.

So, Mom, Happy Birthday – if you never got to hear me say anything to you, I’m sorry. But I hope you know I love you.

Be an angel to someone else whenever you can, as a way of thanking God for the help your angel has given you.  ~Quoted in The Angels’ Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

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Mother & Child

{this is one of those posts where you will learn something about me – one of my “stories”}

The time has come. I am a mom and I have officially spent more time with my baby than my mother spent with me. (She passed away at the young age of 26) I think about the new things that my baby has done recently and all the things that are still to come. It makes me terribly sad to realize just how much my mother missed with me. She definitely got a bunch of smiles out of me and I imagine some good laughs but there is a real possibility that she never heard me say “momma” – it just doesn’t seem right. And to have a child and never hear the words I love you from that child. That doesn’t seem so fair. One of the reasons I always wanted to be a mom was to be able to do the things she was never able to do. And now it’s happening.

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