June 17, 2001

June 17, 2001 was a Sunday. It was also Father’s Day. A couple of weeks ago I thought about writing about this particular Father’s Day and then I looked at the calendar and realized that Father’s Day fell on the same date this year! It felt almost coincidental.

I’ve always tried to find special gifts or reminders to give to my Dad on his birthday, Christmas and Father’s Day. Sometimes I go overboard but I only have a few occasions every year that I can really buy for him – so why not? Sometimes the perfect gift comes to mind quickly. Other times I look around a few times before finding the perfect gift. As the special day approaches I find myself getting more anxious when I haven’t come up with something. In the end, I usually do okay.

But Father’s Day 2001 was a memorable one. Not because of something I gave him but because of something he gave me.

That year both of my grandfathers were still alive so it was a busy day. I went to church in the morning, visited both of my grandfathers, and spent as much time with my Dad as possible. Watched him open gifts and had dinner; the typical Father’s Day get together. As I said goodbye to my father and started towards my car he handed me an envelope. I remember asking him what it was and he just said that it was for me and wished me a Happy Father’s Day.

Driving home that night seemed to take longer than it normally did just because I had something I wanted to open. I remember pulling into my driveway and opening the envelope before I even went into my house. Inside was a letter and a CD. I won’t go into all the details of the letter but it started like this:

Dear ____,

Today is Father’s Day. I wanted to make this one especially special by giving you a gift. You’re probably wondering why I would do such a thing. There are more than a few reasons. But firstly, it is because I could never have been a father without you. You are responsible for some of the greatest moments of joy that I shall ever experience in this lifetime… (This might be the first moment that I started to choke up reading his letter. Scratch that. I choked up when I realized I had a letter so that must have been the line that triggered the first tear!)

It went on from there but I will probably continue to keep the rest of the letter between my Dad and I.

Towards the end of his letter he reminds me to keep God in my life and that… when all else seems to fail, He will always be there. A reminder I really need from time to time.

Anyway, I guess I just want to send out a thank you to my Dad.

Because Dad, it’s you that didn’t let me quit.

You prompted me to learn a new skill.

You brought me energy that I could not have survived without.

You held my hand and sat awake all night during my hospital stay.

You pushed me to stand and push forward.

Tonight I thought I’d share a quote that seems perfect for today:

100 years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much I had in my bank account, nor what my clothes looked like but the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child. ~Forest E. Witcraft

Right now seems like the perfect time to grab a cup of tea, read this letter once more and then tuck it away for safekeeping once again.

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Submission #13: Removing Roadblocks

I realized something about myself yesterday that I didn’t like. Sometimes, we’ve convinced ourselves that we’ve gotten over something bad. It could be a relationship gone sour, something that happened at work, an illness, a layoff, or the loss of someone you love. At the time it happens, the pain is so sharp that you wonder if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep at night again. But time passes, the pain dulls, sleep grudgingly returns, and you convince yourself that you’ve moved on. And that might not be true.

I have a chapter in my life that I desperately want to close. It’s been the source of a lot of unhappiness over the last several years. On top of that, I received a tremendous gift earlier this year in the form of someone new and special in my life. I still can’t believe my good fortune that this has happened to me. However, my inability to close the book on the sad chapter is a wall that keeps a deeper relationship just out of reach. Climbing over that wall is incredibly hard for me.

How does this make me feel? Sad. Frustrated. Angry with myself because my own weaknesses are coming between someone who makes me happy and me. I think these are all appropriate responses, but if I dwell on them too long, I won’t make the progress I need to make. I can curse myself, curse fate, and throw my hands up in despair. Or I can do some serious self-inspection, show a little courage, face my problems and do something about them. I pray that I will have the wisdom and fortitude to take that second approach.

I don’t think it’s ever too late for us to change ourselves. The day we stop trying is the day we start wasting our space on earth. I know where the warts are when I look in the mirror, and I know what I have to change. I just need to do the heavy lifting. And I think all of us are like that. We all have something that needs changing today. None of us knows how long we will be here, how many days we’ll have to enjoy the good things in our lives, and to remove those roadblocks that keep us from doing that. If it needs to be done, what better day to do that than today?

If you’re facing problems like these, think about what you can do today to start solving them. And if you’re so inclined, please pray for me and everyone else who needs to do this important work in their lives.

Submitted by Anonymous

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Submission #12: Magic Remains

We have so many changes in our lives some are so major we are changed forever. In this change some of what was before hangs on no matter how much we try to not allow it to cross into now. When we really allow it in and allow the full experience of that song, that memory, that pure thought from a time never to reclaim we allow it to fully touch us again.

What it is that we tried so hard to block is a simple smile from a spark of life in our memory that was all the beauty and grace of true and innocent emotion that was so gently powerful the very first time we felt it. By some simple childhood type of magic it remains and the reason we may have blocked it was because we thought it may bring pain. Once allowed it brings nothing but a smile and relieves that spark from all pain and its magic is now magic again.

Mine was a song from long ago that brought a flood of memories and I blocked it from pang of tenderness it touched. Thank you, James Taylor, for I need to shower the people I love with love. The spark of smile is still there. I just needed to get past that twinge.

Submitted by TinManTwoFeathers

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Submission #11: How long does it take to heal?

How long does it take a person to heal? Well it depends on healing from what. Physical injury? Scrape? Broken bone? There is a physiological process that happens with cell regeneration, nature of the injury, cleanliness of the wound and other things. But this can be roughly determined. I don’t have an answer – your physician or specialist would be better equipped to do that. But there is a generally defined timeline.

But what if it’s an emotional trauma? Say, the loss of a loved one, as family member? In which case I am looking for answers to that very question and all I have found is “it depends.” As much as I’d really like to have a timeline of when the hurting stops I don’t think there really is one. It differs from day-to-day and sometimes hour to hour.

As you may well know, we are approaching four years since we’ve lost our son, Lcpl. James Kimple. And while the hurt has eased some, it is still there. Yes, I still will tear up talking about him. Hell, I’m having a hard time not crying as I type this in a hospital cafeteria (I am fighting a losing battle here). However my wonderful bride usually has a bit of an easier time talking about James lately. So if you see us together and ask us about James, usually she will answer. I don’t know why that is. It just is. “So it goes” as Kurt Vonnegut would say. This is not to tell you to not ask me about James. I do want to talk about him – this forum is certainly an example of that – just if you ask me in person you might need to give me a few moments.

At three years you’d think it’d be easier for me to talk or just think about James. I certainly would have thought as much. So at what point will it be less difficult? Hard to say. I am sure there will be a day when it gets easier. Maybe by talking about him more I can “work through it.” Maybe the idea of “working through it” is a bunch of crap. All I can say is that I believe it’s different for different people. Different facets of this process will be harder or easier depending on the makeup and thought processes of a person.

What I do know is that I have a fantastic bride and two wonderful sons to help. I have a good family that helps however they can. There are three awesome grandchildren that carry on James’ DNA. And I do have some pretty cool friends. Whether I am talking to them about James or something totally different I think it all helps.

But a definite end? In a strange way I hope it never ends. I feel that the sadness I feel is in direct relation to the amount of joy he brought to my life. I would never trade that for anything.

Submitted by J.D. Kimple from Riding with my Son

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Submission #10: Exhausted Thoughts

I am scared.

I am scared of mediocrity, of anonymity. I don’t want to be famous. But I want to be remembered. I want to have an impact on humanity, so that in one thousand years time people will whisper my name in reverence.

There are seven billion people in this world. I am smarter, faster and stronger than most of them. But there are always those who are better. And if there are those who are better than what is the point? If I am not the best, than who am I? I am nothing. I am alone.

If I could find that person, that person that is for me I think I would feel complete. I know they are out there and I am terrified I will never find them.

I am tired, tired of the same old tired world. I would never end it. I am not that stupid. But I want to go. My world is cold and empty and I want better. I want to write and feel alive. But everywhere is the world in which I must live.

I feel dumber every day. Everywhere I look I see people taller, smarter, faster, stronger. I repeat the same thoughts, I know, and this disgusts me. My own human stupidity. Every day I make mistakes. Small mistakes. I want to fight too. But I am too tired. ‘’The solving emptiness that lies under all we are…’’

Submitted by SM

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My Guest Post – An Angel Visit

When I started aplaceforthoughts.com I was blessed to cross paths with some beautiful people. Betsy Henry was one of the first few and today I am grateful for her continued support and friendship. Betsy’s site, The Zen Mama’s blog, is peaceful and encouraging. She shares so much with all of us. She reminds us of the benefits of laughter and of smiling. She encourages us to let go of worry. She talks about parenting, acceptance, gratitude, peace, love, compassion and so much more.

Betsy has published two books. How To Be A Zen Mama and The Zen Mama’s Book of Quotes and I am happy to say that they both have a place on my nightstand. Shortly after meeting Betsy I ordered How To Be a Zen Mama and loved it! When I found out that her book of quotes was in the works I just knew I’d have to have a copy! Although I don’t use as many quotes as Betsy, I am quite the quote fan myself.

In October I shared this story. Betsy’s response? {This post gave me the chills! I so believe in angels. You got a powerful message through your son. I’m going to share this.}

And so she did.

This weekend Betsy posted An Angel Visit. Be sure to stop by to read it and spend some time on her site. You’ll be so glad you did!

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Submission #9: Christmas Came Early

As many of you know we have had a tough few weeks. Seraphina is still only tolerating half strength feed, she has lost a considerable amount of weight. We went up to Sheffield again and have had to start another medicine called azathioprine which is an immunosuppressant as well as pushing the steroids up to maximum again as she doesn’t tolerate them being lowered.
We saw the ophthalmologist this week who again confirmed that she has a cortical visual impairment (although not too bad) and then we saw our local consultant who looked at a lump I had been a little concerned about in her tummy and confirmed it was an incisional hernia (her bowel has herniated through a past operation incision) so this means another op for my girl to fix it.
Then we had to go to the hospital twice with temperatures so that they could check her blood cell count due to being imunosupressed so they could see if she was able to fight off the infection and have medicine accordingly.
Life seems to be a game of ”hospital hokey cokey” at the moment and the other children are also feeling the strain, particularly the eldest three. Their schools have been good reducing the amount of homework they have to complete and we have spoken to them all and prayed together but it is hard when they ask you why God hasn’t healed Seraphina completely yet.

I have no answers for that… my faith is still strong, but my longing to see my girl healed is too.

Yesterday was one of “those” days. I was looking at the photos and pictures we had taken only a few days ago…Seraphinas 5th Birthday. How my heart ached to see her eat some cake, open her own presents, blow out her own birthday candles…speak and run around like any other 5-year-old girl. She had spent the morning crying with tummy ache, hadn’t been well enough for physio for months and was having more spasms.

I cried out to God …WHY?? Have you forgotten her??? PLEASE show me you still care…that you remember my little girls name!!!

I immediately felt bad about my outburst even though I knew that God didn’t mind.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. Isa 55:8 came to mind and I left it there and carried on with the rest of the day. David had one of his rare working from home days and we had an appointment in the afternoon.

Then, a couple of hours later….with Gods help my little girl gave us the BEST Christmas present we could ask for!

I grabbed my camera phone straight away and tried to capture some of it on film before she got too tired…she had already walked the length of the living room from the hallway and I just got the tail end of her walking here…Im sure you get the idea! Watch out Christmas tree this year!!!

I know many of you won’t agree with this but this is what I believe…

God hasn’t forgotten her…things may not be panning out the way I thought they would, or hoped they would but he DEFINITELY hasn’t forgotten her and I believe this is what he was trying to tell me.

HIS ways not mine….always.

Submitted by Caroline from Seraphina’s World

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Walt’s Wisdom

Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss what insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem. ~Walt Whitman

How does this quote make you feel?

What thoughts came to mind after reading it?

…dismiss what insults your own soul…

Love that. It almost gives you permission to let go of something that weighs you down. Or perhaps it provides the strength to stand up against the dismissing force that keeps you from being you. From being at peace. If nothing else it allows you to feel what is home to your soul and reminds you to acknowledge that peace. To let go of the stress in your day and be at peace.

…and your very flesh will be a great poem.

Yes. Yours. A great poem. Feel impossible? It isn’t.

Whether you realize it or not; it already is. Recognizing it is what is key.

If you feel calm, balanced, and at home in your soul then be grateful for that blessing.

If not then take a break. Go for a walk, or sit down with a cup of tea, perhaps go for a drive, pray, read a book, call a friend or family member, unwind, do something that relaxes you. Something that brings you to your peaceful place. You deserve that blessing. We all do.

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Appreciating Patience

We’ve all run out of patience, haven’t we? I know that I have. Plenty of times. The other day I was almost on a frantic search for some. So I sat down to breathe for a minute and decided to look up quotes on patience to help me reflect. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you…

Patience is the companion of wisdom. ~Saint Augustine

Patience and fortitude conquer all things. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

All human wisdom is summed up in two words – wait and hope. ~Alexandre Dumas Pere

Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. Live the questions. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope. ~Corazon Aquino

I love how a quick five minute break can fill your heart and soul with the strength and hope you need to stand up. Take a minute or two for you today.

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Blog This

I just wanted to send out a hello. I know my writing has been fairly sporadic this year but I’m working my way back to posting with regularity. I have a few things in the works right now and am looking forward to sharing with you in the next few days. Hoping you are all doing well.

Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish. ~John Jakes

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