Posted in Submitted thoughts/stories, tagged children, death, emotions, family, fighting a losing battle, grandchildren, heal, health, hope, joy, Kurt Vonnegut, Lcpl. James Kimple, life, loss, new post, trauma on May 9, 2012|
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How long does it take a person to heal? Well it depends on healing from what. Physical injury? Scrape? Broken bone? There is a physiological process that happens with cell regeneration, nature of the injury, cleanliness of the wound and other things. But this can be roughly determined. I don’t have an answer – your physician or specialist would be better equipped to do that. But there is a generally defined timeline.
But what if it’s an emotional trauma? Say, the loss of a loved one, as family member? In which case I am looking for answers to that very question and all I have found is “it depends.” As much as I’d really like to have a timeline of when the hurting stops I don’t think there really is one. It differs from day-to-day and sometimes hour to hour.
As you may well know, we are approaching four years since we’ve lost our son, Lcpl. James Kimple. And while the hurt has eased some, it is still there. Yes, I still will tear up talking about him. Hell, I’m having a hard time not crying as I type this in a hospital cafeteria (I am fighting a losing battle here). However my wonderful bride usually has a bit of an easier time talking about James lately. So if you see us together and ask us about James, usually she will answer. I don’t know why that is. It just is. “So it goes” as Kurt Vonnegut would say. This is not to tell you to not ask me about James. I do want to talk about him – this forum is certainly an example of that – just if you ask me in person you might need to give me a few moments.
At three years you’d think it’d be easier for me to talk or just think about James. I certainly would have thought as much. So at what point will it be less difficult? Hard to say. I am sure there will be a day when it gets easier. Maybe by talking about him more I can “work through it.” Maybe the idea of “working through it” is a bunch of crap. All I can say is that I believe it’s different for different people. Different facets of this process will be harder or easier depending on the makeup and thought processes of a person.
What I do know is that I have a fantastic bride and two wonderful sons to help. I have a good family that helps however they can. There are three awesome grandchildren that carry on James’ DNA. And I do have some pretty cool friends. Whether I am talking to them about James or something totally different I think it all helps.
But a definite end? In a strange way I hope it never ends. I feel that the sadness I feel is in direct relation to the amount of joy he brought to my life. I would never trade that for anything.
Submitted by J.D. Kimple from Riding with my Son
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Posted in Quotes, Random thoughts, tagged believe, blessed, decisions, fear, heart, hope, Hugh Jackman, imagine, impossible, joy, Kate & Leopold, love, Meg Ryan, new post, possible, quote, thoughts on February 24, 2011|
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I quoted Meg Ryan from one of her movies here at aplaceforthoughts.com once before. And I’m about to do it again.
The other day Kate & Leopold starring Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman was on television and I caught about 20 minutes of it. I watched it once before a couple of years ago and while watching the other day it reminded me that there was a part of the movie that really moved me the first time I saw it. So I decided to look up quotes from the movie to see if I was able to remember what it was. It didn’t take long to find what I was looking for…
Kate: …it’s a great thing to get what you want. It’s a really good thing unless what you thought you wanted wasn’t really what you wanted… because what you really wanted you couldn’t imagine or you didn’t think it was possible but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew… like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn’t have to take a poll and they loved you…
For me this was a get up and grab the kleenex kind of moment. The part that really struck me was …because what you really wanted you couldn’t imagine or you didn’t think it was possible…
Throughout life I have often allowed fear to control decisions that I’ve made. There have been times where what I’ve really wanted seemed so far out of reach or impossible. Or that even if it was possible that it would or could just easily slip away.
But you know what? It is possible.
And then there is this portion of the above quote:
…but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew… like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn’t have to take a poll and they loved you…
Have you ever had this happen? It can be terrifying and completely lovely all at the same time. Some of us don’t get to experience this type of love, some of us do and it’s taken from us quickly, some of us have the luxury of living this type of love each and every day, some of us have a glimpse of it and the fear of the love leaving us or not being real controls how much we allow ourselves to let it into our lives.
But I’m going to say it again. It is possible. Have hope. Allow yourself the joy of being loved. Recognize that if this type of love is there that you are blessed. Not everyone experiences this. We only live once. Embrace it. It isn’t too late. It’s never too late. Believe.
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Posted in General, tagged dream, guest post, invitation, joy, memory, new post, participation, peace, quote, thank you on April 13, 2010|
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I wanted to take the time this morning to thank all of you for being here. Thank you for the support and faith you’ve shown towards this site and to me. If this is your first time here I’m glad that you came by. I hope you enjoy the site and that you’ll be back.
Many of my visitors have their own blogs but I wanted to take this opportunity to invite you to submit something to aplaceforthoughts.com by going to the submit your story tab at the top of this page. As you know many of my posts are fairly short so it doesn’t have to be much. But I invite you to share a little something. You can do so anonymously or as you and I could link your post right back to your site. You could even think of it as a guest post. Or if you’ve wanted to write something and get it off your chest but you don’t want everyone in your whole world knowing than this would be the perfect place to do so.
I invite you to share something that is in your heart. Perhaps a childhood memory, a dream or story of yours, or even just one of your favorite quotes and what it means to you. Remember that this blog belongs to you too.
Wishing everyone a day full of great joy and peace.
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